This story is fiction. Any similarity to any persons living or dead is merely a coincidence. If you are not allowed by law to view this material, please do not do so. If you are under 18 years of age, please leave now. This is a love story between two barely under the age of 18 year old boys in high school. If that offends you, I apologize and ask that you not read any further. Otherwise, enjoy.
Check out the Quarterback Yahoo group. There are photos of guys who you might think Blake or Todd looks like. Submit a picture of how you see the boys or just post your own picture in the members section. There are polls and just general messages. Please check it out at "http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quarterback_with_the_Emerald_Eyes/".
I also want to thank Stephen and Vann for helping me with the story. After I write it they read it over and find all my stupid little mistakes to make it an easier and better read for you guys. So to you, thanks for everything, guys.
And to George, thanks for keeping up with the group. Without you, it probably wouldn't be as successful as it is. You're the best.
Quarterback with the Emerald Eyes -- Part 14
The following morning I awoke to someone knocking on the bedroom door. "Come in," I said, groggily, rubbing my eyes.
Mom stuck her head in the door and said, "C'mon, guys. Get up. It's after eleven."
I looked at her for a second, confused, but said we'd be down in a few minutes. She smiled and closed the door. I turned over and saw Todd sleeping peacefully. He was close to me, but folded in the fetal position. He had his hands clasped together, as in prayer, between his knees. His mouth was hanging open with his top lip caught on the fabric of the pillow. I smiled at the crazy sight before attempting to awaken him.
I leaned over and lightly kissed his nose, then moved to his eyes. I felt them flutter a bit and moved on to his cheek. I gave gentle sweet kisses to my man along his jaw line, and when I reached his chin, he shifted a little and closed his mouth. My lips connected with his, but he gave no response. My tongue lightly touched his pouty lips before I kissed him again.
More than anything, I think all that I did aggravated his body; he shifted and moved to his back with his head facing the windows away from me. I felt a little hurt, but then knew it was a natural reaction to move when something was bothering the body while it's sleeping. Instead, I got a better idea as to how to wake him and smiled wickedly.
I lifted the covers and slid beneath them. In front of me was Todd's flaccid penis begging for attention, or at least, I was begging to give it attention. It was flopped down over his hip, facing me, and it looked so peaceful. I knew with one touch it would come alive, and it wouldn't go back down until it was satisfied. I was willing to provide that touch.
I reached over and placed my hand on top of it and felt it stir. I ran my fingers down the shaft very lightly to wake it. A moment later I saw it move and knew it was ready to be engulfed. I gently moved closer to lean over Todd and took his dick in my mouth. Within seconds he was rock hard, and I was licking his head in ecstasy. I didn't want to move the bed to wake him, so I didn't get more than the head in my mouth, but what I was able to suck was doing the trick.
I bobbed my head over his dick head while my tongue was moving in haste to get Todd's attention. I slightly cupped his balls in my hand and knew he was close, as they were pulled tight against him. A few more moments was all it took. Before he shot I felt the covers lift off me, and I knew he was looking down at what I was doing.
He dropped the covers and placed one hand on my head and started moaning. "Uhhh. Ahhh." After the last shot was done I held steady, for I knew how sensitive he was after, but I wanted to shock him awake. I moved my tongue along the underside of his head, and he started bucking his hips. I stopped my tongue, and he settled. I tried again and got the same reaction from him. He was trying to grab my head from above the covers, but the fabric against my hair wasn't allowing him to get a grip.
I kept up my assault until he finally had his wits about him and put his hands under the covers; slamming down on the back of my head making me engulf his flaccid penis.
"Would you stop?" he whispered. "You're driving me crazy."
I smiled with him in my mouth and finally let it draw out slowly while I continued to suck him hard. Through gritted teeth he violently sucked in air before he fell out of my lips grasp completely and relaxed. I moved out from under the covers and smiled at him. He was lying back on the pillow with his left arm covering his eyes.
I leaned in and kissed his lips, which were visible, and he returned the kiss without moving anything else. "You are a fucker, you know that?"
"Me?" I asked, laughing as I straddled his hips and watched him.
"Yeah, you. You can be an asshole sometimes," he said, moving his arm away from his face. "You wake me by blowing me, which was great, but after that's done you keep sucking, knowing how sensitive I am."
"I wanted to make sure you were awake. I figured that little jolt would do the trick."
"It made me want to hit something. I'm just glad I was able to keep my fists under control."
Leaning down,
I said, "You wouldn't've hit me. With
the pleasure I can give you," I said kissing his cheeks, and then moving down
to his neck. He moved his head to
accommodate my tongue and lips. "You
love me too much to hit me." I licked
across his
After kissing a few places, in a breathy voice, he asked, "Blake, why are you doing this?"
"Because," I said, moving my lips back across his neck, "I want to taste you." Licking his chin, I continued, "Because I want to make you feel good." Kissing his lips, I said, "Because I love to give you pleasure." I kissed up his cheeks and neck to his ear. Whispering softly, I finished, "And because I love you." I grabbed his ear lobe with my tongue and brought my lips to surround it.
"Oh God! That feels good, Blake."
"I know," I said, and continued to nibble on his ear.
His hands were roaming over my back and sides. He reached back and cupped my ass in his left hand and squeezed it rhythmically, as if on auto pilot. "Blake, please stop. You're making me want you more and more. You need to stop; otherwise we might not leave this room."
I pulled back from his ear and looked into his eyes. With a more serious look on my face, I leaned in and kissed him. He put one hand on my back, the other on my head, and pulled me into him. My legs went from a straddle to lying flat out on his body. A moment later, he turned us both, and I was on the bed with him atop me and with him tangled in the sheets.
He moved his hands to the bed to support his weight. "Lay down," I told him, touching his arms.
"I'll crush you," he said, concerned.
"That's what I want. I want to feel you on top of me. If it's too much I'll let you know."
He slowly let his arms give way to allow his weight to return to my chest and stomach. When he was down completely, he put his elbows near my ears while letting his arms surround my head, as he played with my hair with his fingers. He wasn't as heavy as he thought; his weight felt like a blanket keeping me warm and safe. I moved my hands to his back and ran them over his smooth skin, exploring every inch my fingers could reach.
We laid like that for a while just staring and smiling at each other. He kissed me a few times, and I did the same back to him. Finally, he lowered down and kissed me passionately for a good minute or so before he broke it. "I love you so much," he said to me. "I wish we could run away for the summer and just be together without work, or without mom and dad,"
"Without money," I said, cutting in.
"Yeah, that would be a problem," he said smiling and kissing me again.
"C'mon, mom already came up to wake us. If we don't go downstairs soon, she might come back and not knock this time."
"Yeah, she's done that before. Let's get dressed and head downstairs."
He got off me and grabbed some shorts and a tee shirt. I followed suit and did the same, and a few minutes later we were sitting in the living room with the parents. After we were settled, with me on Todd's lap, mom asked how the prom went.
"We had a blast after we left," Todd said.
"You didn't enjoy the dance?" she asked.
"No. Mrs. Rudd threw us out," he said.
"What!" mom and dad asked in unison, sitting on the edge of the couch and staring intently at us?
"Yeah, she wouldn't let us dance and after Todd won prom king, she wouldn't let me up on stage with him, but every other person in the court was able to take their date up with them."
"Why did she act that way?" dad asked.
"Because she said it wasn't right. I asked her to show me the rule saying we can't be at prom together, and she said it was a rule she told me about. She was a pain in the ass. She made me forfeit the title because I refused to go onstage without Blake."
"Did you refuse the title and forfeit or . . . what happened? I'm confused," mom said.
"They called my name, and Blake and I walked to the stairs. She told him he would have to wait on the floor. I told her that I wouldn't go up there without him, and she said that by not going onstage I forfeited the title."
Standing angrily, mom said, "I can't believe that woman. Who does she think she is doing that?"
"Mom, don't worry," I said. "We kinda shocked her before we left."
"What did you do?" dad asked.
"Todd kissed me right in front of her," I said, laughing. "She gasped and told us to stop, but we didn't. When we finally did stop, we left."
"Then a few minutes later, half the prom followed us. They were left with only about fifty or so kids. Don't worry about it mom, we got her back," Todd said, as he concluded the story.
"Still, telling you that you can't be king and that ya'll can't dance because she doesn't like that you're gay, that's bullshit!"
"Christine," Don said looking at her.
"Well, I'm sorry boys, but this pisses me off."
Giving me a slight nudge to get off, I stood and Todd walked the short distance to his mom and hugged her. "Thanks for the support and everything, but really, let it go. I know you can't stand to see people do this, but school's almost over. There's no reason to start anything."
"But your title?" she asked.
"I don't need the title. I know I won, the school knows I won. I stood up for us, Blake and myself, and that's the most important thing for me. Not some stupid title that people won't remember."
From where I was standing, I could see the look in mom's eyes soften. Looking at Todd, she put her hands on his shoulders and said, "How was it we were lucky enough to have such a smart son?"
"Well, I guess you guys taught me well. I mean, I only did what I think you would've done. You would've stood up for us." Looking at dad, he said, "Both of you. I know that. I just figured she was being ignorant and there wasn't any reason to fight. I wanted to. I wanted to yell at her, even hit her, but Blake held onto me so I couldn't do anything. So instead, Kelly told me to kiss Blake, and I did. She went ballistic, and then we left."
"Where'd you go?" dad asked.
"We went to Cowtippers. It was a nice night last night and we wanted to be outside. When we got there, we ordered dessert, and then I got a call from Kelly."
"Yeah, and Paige won queen, but she told Mrs. Rudd if there wasn't a king she wasn't going to be queen," Todd said. "Then about seventy kids showed up, and we had a blast. They ordered desserts and appetizers, and we talked, laughed, and some even danced to the music that was playing. We had a good time."
"All those kids walked out of the prom for you two?" mom asked.
"Yeah. It was unbelievable. I still can't believe it," I said.
"Wow. It seems like you guys have some good friends."
Laughing a bit, Todd looked at me and said, "Yeah, half of which, we won't remember their names." I nodded in agreement.
Looking at me, mom asked, "So, do you feel better about next year after last night?"
"Yeah, I do. I didn't think the students would've been as accepting, but they surprised me. Boy did they surprise me."
"That makes me feel better. I was worried about you guys being out with Blake having another year to go," she said, looking at Todd.
"I was too, but Blake told me it was okay. I didn't want to put him in danger or anything, but I really wanted my friends to know the real me. Blake understood that and said it was okay with him."
Walking to me, mom took me in a hug and said, "You're one brave man."
Pulling back, I said, "I just wanted Todd to be happy. I knew that if he told his friends about us, they could get to know the real him and that was gonna make him happy. I was nervous, at first, because it was the football team, but after I met them they didn't show any hatred towards me and now consider me a friend."
"Well, almost everyone." Mom turned to look at Todd and he said, "Bobby walked away and I haven't seen him since."
"Bobby Collins?" mom asked. Todd shook his head in the affirmative. "Honey, I'm so sorry," she said.
"It was his choice. He called us fags and just left. It hurt, because we'd been friends for so long, but I can't force him to like me."
"But still, you two practically grew up together."
"Yeah, well, what can you do?" Todd asked, giving a small smile.
"Do you think he was the one who wrote on your lockers and keyed your car?" dad asked.
"At first I did, but I never saw him after he walked away that day. It's been a month now. It's like he dropped off the face of the earth."
"I still wish I knew who did that," mom said. "I'd like to sue `em for the damages to the car."
"You and me both," Todd agreed.
With all of us getting back to our seats, mom asked if we had any plans for the day. I told her about going to see Pax and she asked who he was. I explained who he was and how we met and she told me that she would love to meet him. Dad did to, and I told them that I would mention it to him later on in the day.
We went to visit Pax at one o' clock, as usual. When we arrived, he explained that Tristian was supposed to be there to meet us today but had a last minute photo job he needed to get done. He had found some part time work with the local paper, along with his freelance work, and they had sent him on an assignment.
When lunch was served, he asked us how the prom went. We explained everything that happened, and he gave us hugs for being brave enough to even try it.
"You'd think that in 2009, the schools would be a little more progressive," he said.
"I think the schools are; it's the principal who's not," Todd explained.
I agreed with them and continued our conversation. After lunch, we went to the park and played penny poker just like the week before. This became a ritual when the weather was right, otherwise we'd just hang around the house.
Todd asked about Pax's venture with the record store, and he explained that he had gotten out of it. "I was looking to get out of the business because it wasn't doing very well. I asked the owner if he knew of anyone who wanted my shares. He bought them from me, and a week later had to declare bankruptcy. I don't know how I did it, but I got most of my money back."
"Only most?" Todd asked.
"Yeah, well, I just had a feeling it wasn't going to be so good and wanted to get back what I could. He offered seventy five cents to the dollar, and I took it."
"How much did you end up losing?" I asked.
"'Bout a hundred," he said nonchalantly.
"That's not bad at all. A hundred bucks. Hell, that's nothing," I said.
"I think he meant a hundred thousand," Todd said.
"He's right," Pax said to me.
"A hundred thousand dollars?" I said in disbelief.
"Yup," Pax said, nodding his head.
"Is that American money?" I asked, still in shock.
"Yeah, it sure isn't pesos," he said, chuckling
I couldn't get over the idea that he lost a hundred thousand dollars in a matter of weeks. "Okay, Pax. I usually don't do this, but I have to know. How much money do you have? I mean, you lose more money than I'll ever see in my life, at one time at least, and you act like it's nothing."
Looking at us both, he said, "Do not repeat this to anybody. I've never told anyone, and only my family knows." We nodded our understanding, and then he leaned over and said, "My grandmother left me about a hundred and eighty three million."
I couldn't do anything but stare at Pax, I believe, with my mouth hanging open.
Todd whistled and said, "Wow, that's a lot of money. But Pax, if I may ask, why do you live in that house if you have that much money?"
"First, I
never knew my granny was that wealthy.
She lived in a four bedroom house in
"She left my parents her car, the house, and the land that went with it; left a trust for my sister for five million with a stipulation that she couldn't touch it until she was thirty. As for me, I got all the rest. Well, as you can imagine, my parents were pissed. They didn't get one cent of her money until they sold the house and land. They ended up with about three quarters of a million dollars."
"Why did she leave you the money instead of splitting it between you guys, or at least you and your sister?" Todd asked.
"Because she found out that my family abandoned me when I told them I was gay." Looking at me, he said, "My family did the same thing to me that your family did to you. When I came out, I was twenty nine, and they said they didn't want anything else to do with me, including my sister. So, I made a new life for myself. I was dating a guy at the time, he wanted to move here, and I came with.
"We were good for a while, but then he hit me so I left. The only thing I could afford was this apartment, so I took it and found the job, and lived my life alone. I'd visit my grandmother whenever I could, not because of the money, but because she and I were always real close when I was growing up. Plus, I figured that if she didn't know about me, she wouldn't shun me. I loved my granny. I remember that she was the best cook in the world, and every mornin', she'd make me pancakes. She knew they were my favorite.
"Anyway, one day she asked why I never came with the family to see her, and I assumed they had never told her what they did to me. I had tears in my eyes because I knew I had to tell her the truth. I was so afraid she would disown me too. After I told her, she gave me a hug and told me she still loved me and she always would. She was pissed at my mom and dad for what they did, so that's the reason she left the will like that. She wasn't going to leave anything for Brandy, my sister, but I talked her into some money. Until we met in the lawyer's office, I never knew she had left me that much money. I figured she'd leave it to a charity or something. But then again, I never knew she had that much money either.
"So, when I came home, I resigned from my job, sat in my little apartment, and wondered what I was going to do with all that money. About three weeks after that the check came, and I decided that if granny could live a life with that much money and not show it, I could too and decided to stay. I love my apartment; I don't wanna go anywhere else."
"Does Tristian know about the money?" I asked.
"Not yet. I decided that if a guy was going to be interested in me, it was going to be for me and not my money. So if it gets serious, he'll know then."
"Has he asked you about your work or how you live without a job?" Todd asked.
"Yeah, and I told him that granny left me about two hundred thousand and I was taking a break from work to live a little. He's never questioned me since, and I doubt he would." Looking at Todd, he asked, "Do you remember last week when you asked if Tristian could be the one?" Todd nodded his head. "I think he could be. He's a kind, generous, sweet, caring, thoughtful, beautiful, perfect person. He calls me, or I call him, everyday. We talk like it's our first conversation.
"We like the same movies, foods, music, art, places of travel; we want to go to the same vacation spots in the world before we die. We want to meet the same people, but it's only been about a month. I'm not getting my hopes up too high, but I'm hoping a little."
"But wait a minute. How do you know that he wasn't just agreeing with everything you said to impress you?" I asked.
"I had that same thought and gave him some paper, and as we asked questions, we wrote down our answers and gave almost the exact same answer every time. It was like a game we were playing. We asked about a hundred questions, anything we could think of, and we matched about seventy five to eighty percent of the time."
"Wow," I said. "So, you think you could be happy with him?"
Smiling a love struck, dumb smile, he put his chin on his hand and said, "Yeah," while staring off into space.
Todd started laughing, and Pax asked what was so funny. "You are. You look like I felt the first time I saw Blake."
"Oh really? Was that before or after you threatened to kick my ass?" I asked smiling.
"What?" Pax asked. "You threatened to beat him up?"
"Well . . ." Todd started but I cut him off.
"Did I tell you how we met, Pax?"
"No," he answered.
"Before he saw my face, he gave me a blow job."
"Blake," Todd called, embarrassed.
"What? This is Pax. He won't tell anyone, and he won't judge us either."
"You got that right, but tell me about this. What happened?" he said, excitedly, waiting for my answer. I explained all that had happened that day and the following time I saw Todd at his job.
"When I found out it was him, I got scared, but I also felt something inside me. I don't know if it was love, but it was an attraction," Todd explained. "When I kissed him in the shower for the first time, I knew I loved him then."
"That's when I knew I loved him, too. I was standing there naked washing off some goo from a classmate who had blown something up in chemistry, and he walked in and found me. After some small talk, he offered to wash my back, and then he ran a finger across my ass hole which caused me to jump. When I turned around, he wrapped his hand around my dick and my body went limp, and then I put my head on his shoulder. A few minutes later he kissed me, but I pulled away. Then he made fun of me, or so I thought, about being a virgin. Finally, he asked if he could give me a real kiss."
Looking at Todd, Pax smiled big and said, "That's so romantic."
"Anyway, I felt like I would take the upper hand, and I leaned in and kissed him first."
"He gave me a peck on the lips," he said, flatly. "I laughed and told him I wasn't his mom and then kissed him softly and with passion. Since then, we've been together almost every day, except for that time he was mad at me."
"Just a misunderstanding," Pax reminded us.
"Yeah, just a misunderstanding," I said, taking his hand in mine.
We finished playing cards and our conversations, and this week I was the winner. Walking back to the apartment, Todd asked what his grandmother did to get so much money.
Pax explained that his grandfather had something to do with the steel industry at the turn of the century and then invested his money, bought lots of land, and even found oil on some of it. Over the years, the interest grew, and the invested money paid off, and that's how she ended up with close to two hundred million. After a few more short conversations at Pax's place, Todd and I headed home.
On Sunday, nothing worth mentioning happened. Todd and I caught a movie and some dinner, and that was it. When we got home we went to bed early to prepare for our last two days of school.
On Monday everything was fine. I was having a good time talking to my new friends and having them sign my year book in my first three periods. It wasn't until the third period that a wrench got thrown into my perfect day.
We had about twenty minutes before the bell rang for lunch, and I had to pee like a Russian race horse. I asked Ms. Davis if I could use the restroom, and after I explained that I couldn't hold it, she let me leave.
I practically ran to the bathroom, and when I got there I stood in front of one of the urinals and started to go. A second later, I heard the bathroom door open. I didn't pay any attention to who came in; I was only concerned with the relief coming to my body from pissing.
Before I finished urinating, I found myself forced up against the wall straddling the urinal with my left cheek pushed hard against the cold tile. My hands were near my crotch, and the force on my back was pushing my body against my arms which were locked between the porcelain and my legs.
"What the fuck? Get off me," I said.
"Shut the fuck up, faggot. You make one peep, and I'll cut you." I felt the guy put something against my back and I felt a point, so I kept my voice down.
"What do you want?" I begged.
"I want fuckers like you to die. You faggots invade everything and just expect us to accept you. I can't stand you people. You make me sick."
"But I didn't do anything. I'm just being me," I said. I felt tears come to my eyes, but I forced myself to control my emotions. The last thing I wanted this guy to see was me crying. I didn't want him to think I was weak, even though I was scared to death.
"You being you makes me sick. You and your boyfriend tell everybody and they just take you in like it's nothing. I can't stand that, and I can't stand them. Then you people show up at the prom and start dancing. If it wasn't for Mrs. Rudd and the other adults, I would've gotten you then."
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I told you, I'm a guy who hates fags. Especially ones who flaunt it for everyone to see. If it was up to me, none of you people would be alive. I think Hitler had the right idea. He didn't like you people either."
"From the rumors I've heard, it's because he was gay, too."
"Shut the fuck up," he said, putting more pressure on my head and body and forcing the knife harder in my back.
"Ahhh. Okay, okay. I'm sorry," I pleaded.
He continued to talk, and all I could think of was to get a description of everything I could see. He had his right hand on the back of my neck, pressing my face against the tile, with his forearm across my eyes and his elbow resting on the wall in front of my eyes. I looked over the skin and found four small freckles or moles or something in a diamond shape. I looked for anything else, but there wasn't anything noticeable.
I looked down and couldn't see what type of shirt he was wearing. He was standing behind me, and I could only see right leg. He had on regular jeans; no holes, no worn out knee, no stains, nothing. I looked down further and noticed he had on yellow shoes with a blue stripe down the top center. For some reason, yellow shoes were popular this year, and I was afraid I didn't have enough to identify him. There was no accent in his voice, nothing noticeable at all about the guy.
"Well?" he asked, pushing on me harder.
"Sorry," I said, coming back to my surroundings. "Well, what?"
"Haven't you been listening, fag?"
"Sorry, no. I've been concentrating on that knife in my back," I lied. "I don't want to get cut."
Leaning in closer to my ear, he softly said, "You'll have better things to worry about if you don't fucking leave this school and never come back. Like, maybe, your life. Or lack there of."
"But I have another year," I protested.
"I don't give a fuck. You and your fag boyfriend didn't take my warnings to heart. You know, the writing on the lockers and his car. I know he graduates, but if you don't leave, next year, you'll have to constantly look over your shoulder to see if I'm following you. And believe me, I'll be watching. If you're around, I'll watch you until I have you exactly where I want you, then you won't be breathing after I'm done."
"Okay, fine," I said, with attitude. I was more scared at that moment than I'm sure I would be next year. "Fine. I'll tell mom I want to go somewhere else. Just please, take the knife away."
Pushing it in farther, I yelped and he said, "And another thing, if you tell anyone about this, you may not be able to enjoy your summer. It might just end unexpectedly for you."
All I could do was breathe with the pain running from my back to my head. I felt like the tip of the knife was breaking my skin, but I couldn't be sure.
"If you make one move to turn to see me, I'll cut your throat. Do you understand me?"
I nodded my head as best I could with his arm still pinning me to the wall. The pressure on my head slowly lessened along with the pressure on my body. I stayed still, not wanting to get hurt. I'd wait until he left then run after him to find out who it was. When he was off me, he backed away, directly behind my head and called me a fag one last time before punching me in the side of the face, next to my eye. I lost my balance and fell over. My stomach caught the lip of the urinal next to me and I fell flat on my face. A second later, I heard the door open.
I was in pain, but got up as fast as I could and stuffed myself back in my jeans and ran to the door. When I got there, he was already gone. "Fuck," I screamed and heard the echo in the tiled room. I buttoned up my pants and headed to the office to report what had happened.
When I got there, Mrs. Blanchard, the secretary, saw the red marks on my face and the busted lip I had gotten from landing on the floor after he hit me. "Oh my God! Are you okay?" she asked, coming out from around the counter.
"I just got attacked in the bathroom. Some guy pinned me against the wall and put a knife to my back and threatened me."
Pulling me gently, she said, "C'mon over here and sit down. I'm gonna get Mrs. Rudd."
After I sat, she disappeared back behind the counter and down the hall. A minute later, she came back and escorted me to the principal's office. When I saw Mrs. Rudd, she asked what happened. Mrs. Blanchard went back to the front in response to a nod from Mrs. Rudd to do so.
I explained what happened, including the knife, the threats, and the punch. When I was done, she just looked at me for a moment.
"Well Mr. Moore, if you want to go home, I can excuse you for the rest of the day."
I stood in disbelief and said, "I don't want to go home. I want to find out who did this."
"We have over a thousand students in this school. Do you know how long that would take to find out who did it?" she asked.
"I don't care how long. I want to find out who put a knife in my back and threatened to kill me."
"Mr. Moore, if you hadn't decided to be rebellious and tell about your sexuality, this probably wouldn't have happened, now would it? I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do," she said, just as cold as could be.
I stood, looking into the cold, grey eyes of the woman before me and finally stormed out. While I was waiting to see Mrs. Rudd, the bell rang for the next period. This was lunch and I knew who I needed to talk to. I walked out of the office, throwing the door open and went straight to the cafeteria. Walking to our usual table, I saw Kelly motion for Todd to turn around toward me. When he did, he smiled until I got closer. He stood up and came to me.
"What the hell happened?" he asked, checking out my lip and my eye.
"I just got attacked in the bathroom. Some guy put a knife in my back, threatened to kill me and punched me, all because he hates fags."
"Who the fuck was it?" Todd asked in anger. By this time, the rest of the table had crowded around, listening, along with anyone else within hearing range.
"I don't know. He was behind me."
"Did you tell Mrs. Rudd?" he asked.
"Yeah, and she offered to send me home if I wanted to go. She refused to help find the guy. That's why I need you. Do you have your cell on you?"
Todd reached into his pocket and handed it to me. "Who would better handle this? Mom or dad?" I asked.
"Call mom. She'll scare the shit out of Mrs. Rudd."
I excused myself and walked out the side entrance to the senior porch with Todd and Kelly behind me. I found the number and hit send. Two rings later, mom answered.
"Christine Blyth."
"Hey, mom, it's me, Blake."
"Oh, hi Blake," she said in a chipper voice. "What's going on?"
"I need your help with something."
"Okay, shoot," she said.
"I just got attacked in the bathroom here at school . . ."
"What? Are you okay?" she asked, concern filling her voice.
"I'm fine, now. I told the principal, and she offered to send me home instead of trying to find the guy who did it."
"She did what?" mom screamed.
"Yeah. She said there was nothing she could do."
"Oh my God. I've had about enough of this woman. You tell that bitch I'll be there in fifteen minutes, and she better be ready for a new ass hole. I'm on my way." She didn't wait for a response before she hung up.
After I hit end on the phone, Todd asked what happened.
"She's pissed. She told me to tell Mrs. Rudd, and I quote, tell that bitch that she's on her way and that she better be ready for a new ass hole."
"Mom actually said that?" Todd asked.
"Yup," I said, handing his phone back to him.
"Holy shit," Kelly said.
"I've never known mom to be that mad. I definitely want to see this," Todd said.
"Well, I'm going back to the office, but I'm not going to quote mom. I'm just going to let her know that she's on her way." Looking at Kelly, I asked, "Did you get my books, by the way?"
"Yeah. They're with mine."
"Good. Can you hold them for a little while?"
"Hell no! I wanna see this, too," she said with a gleeful smile on her face.
We went back to the lunchroom and grabbed our books. Kelly and Todd dumped their trays, and we headed back to the office.
When we arrived, Mrs. Rudd was talking to the secretary. I went up to the counter and said, "My mom will be here in a few minutes, and she wants to talk to you." I didn't wait for her response and went to sit next to Todd.
Looking over, Mrs. Rudd said, "Don't you two have some place to be?"
Todd answered for the both of them. "We're not going anywhere. My mom will be here in a minute, and we want to be here when she does."
"That's unacceptable. Go back to your class."
"We aren't leaving," Kelly said.
"Young lady . . ." Mrs. Rudd started, but Kelly cut her off.
"What are you going to do? Suspend me? I've already taken my finals and we only have one day of school left. Go ahead. I don't care," she said, standing and staring Mrs. Rudd down.
There wasn't anything left to say on her part, and she finished up her conversation with Mrs. Blanchard and headed back to her office.
A few minutes later, mom came through the door with her briefcase in hand. Seeing us, she walked over and I stood.
Seeing my face, she asked if I was okay. "I'm fine. I got this when he punched me, and I fell on the floor."
Looking at the punch mark, she asked, "Does it hurt?"
"It's sore, but like a headache more than anything."
"What's the principal's name?"
"Mrs. Rudd," I answered.
Turning to the counter, she approached and said that she needed to see the principal immediately. Mrs. Blanchard told her to wait just a second and went to Mrs. Rudd's office. A minute later, she came around and opened the door for mom to follow.
Tuning to me, she said, "Blake, you come with me. You two, stay here."
I could see the disappointment on their faces, but I whispered that I would tell them everything and followed mom back to Mrs. Rudd's office.
When we arrived, Mrs. Blanchard showed us in then closed the door as she left.
"Would you like to take a seat, Mrs. Moore?" Mrs. Rudd asked as she took her seat.
"No, I wouldn't. I'd like to know why you aren't trying to find the guy who attacked Blake."
"Mrs. Moore . . ."
"It's Mrs. Blyth. Christine Blyth," she corrected.
"I'm sorry. Mrs. Blyth, as I told Blake, it would take too long to locate the boy who did this, and there is only one day of school left. We couldn't do anything to punish him."
"That's bullshit," mom said back to her.
The look on Mrs. Rudd's face was that of shock. "Mrs. Blyth, may I ask you not to use such language."
"You may, but if you don't do something soon about finding this boy, you'll hear a lot worse."
"As I said, it would take too much time. We have students in two buildings with the second lunch period just about to start. There'll be children in classes and the lunchrooms."
"I don't care. I want this boy found."
Taking a breath, Mrs. Rudd look at mom and said, "Did you stop to think that maybe Blake brought this on himself?"
"How?" I asked.
"I told you that if you hadn't told about your sexual choice . . ."
"It's not a choice," I said, cutting her off. Mom turned and put her hand up to quite me.
"Then maybe this wouldn't have happened," she concluded, right where she had left off.
"Mrs. Rudd, whether my son and Blake are gay or straight, doesn't give you the right to treat them like this. They told me what happened at the prom, and that pissed me off. Now, I want to find out who did this to Blake."
"Mrs. Blyth, as I said, there's nothing I can do."
"Listen lady," mom said, leaning over and planting a fist on her desk, "I don't care if you think being gay is right or wrong. Your job at this school is to protect your students, and you aren't doing a good job if you won't find out who did this. Now, if you don't get moving within a minute to start this search, I'm gonna smack a lawsuit on your ass and the school board's so fast for neglect, you'd be lucky to have this job next year. Do I make myself clear?"
I was only seeing the back of mom, but I could tell by the sound of her voice she was giving Mrs. Rudd the meanest and toughest look she could to make her point.
Giving a sigh
of defeat, she reached over and grabbed a walkie-talkie from her desk and
turned it on. "Mrs.
Rudd to security chief
A second later, a reply came over the tiny box. "Chief Walker here. Go ahead."
"Chief Walker, I need you and your team in my office immediately, please."
"Ten four," he responded.
Without another word, mom turned and opened the door. I looked at Mrs. Rudd and gave an `eat shit' smile before following mom back to the waiting area. When we arrived, Kelly asked what was happening.
"She finally came to her senses. She called security, and they're heading up here now." mom said.
"She only came to her senses after mom threatened her with a lawsuit," I leaned over and told them."
"Alright mom," Todd said with a smile.
"Shhh," mom said as she put her briefcase down and waited.
A few minutes later, seven guys in uniform came into the office and one headed to Mrs. Rudd's office. When he returned, he looked over at us, and mom stood. He came to us and asked if I was the boy who was attacked.
"Yes sir!"
"And you are?" he asked, looking at mom.
"I'm Christine Blyth. I am Blake's guardian."
"I'm Chief Walker. We're gonna do everything we can to find the boy, but after an attack like this, I have to warn you, he might not be on campus anymore. Sometimes they get scared and run."
"I don't care. I want to see if he's still here. If he is, he'll be sorry, believe me."
Looking at me, he asked for a description.
"I didn't get a look at him. All I saw was blue jeans and yellow shoes with a blue stripe down the middle."
"Anything about the jeans you can remember? Any tears, bleach spots, anything?"
"No sir. They were like brand new. Clean and intact."
"What about the shoes? The stripe, where was it exactly?"
"He had on yellow shoes with the blue stripe on the top, coming from under the shoe strings to the sole, splitting his toes," I said and demonstrated on my shoe as I told him.
"This is going to take a while for us to pull every student with yellow shoes, but when we do, we'll bring them down here. You sure it was a boy?"
"Yes sir. His voice was deep, and it was the boy's bathroom."
"I just wanted to make sure. You never know with kids these days."
Turning back to his men, he told them what they were looking for. Chief Walker divided up the team, sending two guards to the smaller of the buildings and keeping the other five for the building we were in.
As he was questioning me, the bell to release the period rang and as they left the office, the next bell to start the fourth period, and second lunch, sounded. After we sat, I leaned back, and the place where the knife was poking me hit the back of the chair and I winced.
"What's wrong?" mom asked.
I stood and pulled my shirt up and pointed to the spot where I felt the metal. "Did he break the skin?"
Feeling mom's finger run over the spot, she said, "No. It's just red. There's no blood."
"Good," I said, taking my seat again.
"So, I need you to tell me everything you can remember," she said, taking out a mini tape recorder.
"Wow, you come prepared," I said.
"I always carry this. You never know what a client will say that you'll have to remember. Anyway, tell me from the start."
I told her everything from me asking my teacher to go to the bathroom to when she showed up. "He threatened to kill you?" she asked, tears starting to form in her eyes.
"Yeah. He said that if I told anyone about what happened, my summer will be cut short because I wouldn't be breathing after he was done with me and that if I came back next year, I would have to keep looking over my shoulder."
She clicked off the recorder and looked down, sniffling. "What's wrong with kids today?" she asked as she covered her eyes with her free hand.
"Mom, it's okay. I'm fine. Everything'll be fine."
"I know, but you shouldn't have to go through this." Looking up, we could all see her red eyes. "I just can't imagine what would've happened if we lost you. Either of you," she said, looking between myself and Todd.
I grabbed her hand and said, "Mom, I think it was to scare me, that's all. I mean, he had a knife. If he actually wanted to kill me, he could've, but he didn't."
Putting her hand on the back of my head, she said, "And I thank God he didn't." She leaned forward and pulled me into a hug. When she pulled back, she asked if anyone had offered me any ice for the bruise on my face. I told her no, and all four of us headed to the cafeteria.
While we were there, mom and I decided to get something to eat. I had missed my lunch period and mom had skipped it because of having to come down to the school. After we were done, we headed back to the office and I had the ice pack on my face. A few minutes later the bell rang, and the end of lunch was announced.
We had waited for about another half hour when the chief came back in the office. Walking to Mrs. Rudd, he leaned in and told her something, then came over to us.
"We have all the yellow shoes with a blue stripe we could find. There are about fifty of `em, so," he paused for a minute and asked, "Did you notice anything else about the boy? Were there any identifying marks, or belt, or anything out of the ordinary."
Hearing him say that shocked back a memory I forgot. "He has four little freckles or something on his arm, near his elbow. They're in a diamond or square shape. I noticed it when he had me against the wall."
"You're sure about that?"
"Yes sir. I noticed that first thing but forgot to tell you. They're on his forearm near his elbow. Diamond shaped."
"That'll help. Which arm?" he asked.
Thinking back to how he had me pinned, I said, "Right arm. His left was holding the knife."
"Just stay here and let me narrow it down as much as possible. I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Chief Walker, I want to come with you," mom said.
"Yes ma'am." He walked to the door and held it open as she went through then followed behind.
Todd, Kelly and I sat back down and waited.
"I sure hope he's still here," Kelly said. "He deserves some kind of punishment."
"If mom finds him, believe me, he'll get it. She'll try to throw the book at him for hurting Blake."
"I just can't believe someone got that pissed off. I don't know this kid, but he sure hates me."
"Some people are just stupid. They're too closed minded to see that it's all around them. They don't like change, and I heard that some people take out their hatred because they're too afraid to admit they're gay themselves," Kelly explained.
"If he is, he's one strong ass hole," I said.
"No, he was a strong ass hole with a knife. I think you would have fought if you needed to if he didn't have a weapon," Todd said.
"You might be right. When he told me he had a knife and I felt the tip press against me, I stopped moving."
The conversation died for a few minutes until the door opened and mom came back in.
"Well?" I asked, standing.
"There was only one boy that fit everything you said. The shoes and the freckles, but he has a hole in his jeans."
"He did?" I asked, disappointed.
"Yeah. On his left knee."
I thought for a second and looked back in my memory and replayed the event. Thinking, I said, "I only saw his right leg. His left was behind me with his body. I couldn't move my head and only my eyes were able to look down. How was his right pant leg?"
"Looked like brand new," she said.
"Who is he?" Todd asked.
"His name is Martin Somers. Either of you know him?"
Todd and I looked at each other with blank stares.
"Is he a big guy, about Todd's height with black hair?" Kelly asked.
"Yeah, that's him."
"I was in art with him last year. He was kind of a class clown, but was always in trouble."
"How will I know for sure?" I asked. "I don't want to get some kid in trouble if he didn't do it."
"You need to take a look at the shoes and the freckles," mom explained.
I was a little apprehensive about seeing the guy who attacked me, but I knew with mom, Todd and Chief Walker, he wouldn't do it again. "Okay. Let's do this."
Mom led the way back to the lunch room, and when the door opened I heard his voice. I stopped and listened while everyone looked at me.
"You okay, babe," Todd asked.
"It's him. His voice. It's the exact same voice."
"You still need to look at the freckles. You have to be positive."
I sighed and walked in the cafeteria. When he saw me, he stopped talking and gave no recognition of our earlier encounter. Walking to him, Chief Walker told him to lift his arms, bent at the elbow. When he did, I saw the diamond that gave him away. I looked at mom and nodded my head. "It's him."
"Okay, Chief Walker. Could you stay with him while I speak to Mrs. Rudd?"
"Sure thing, ma'am."
"What for? Wha'd I do?"
"Looks like you didn't scare me as much as you thought," I said, staring at him hard. Looking at Chief Walker, I asked, "Did you search him for a knife?"
"Not yet. I need principal Rudd to be present for that."
"You won't find one. I don't own a knife."
"What did you do, throw it away? I felt you put a knife to my back. I felt the blade through the shirt."
"Whatever," he said and rolled his eyes.
"Blake, Todd, Kelly. You three come back to the office," mom called.
Todd and Kelly walked away, and I stared at him for another moment before I moved. Mrs. Rudd and mom went to her office and closed the door. A few minutes later, mom came out and explained what happened.
"Mrs. Rudd's calling his mom. I wanted to get her involved before we call the police."
"Really? The police?" I asked.
"Yes, with the assault, the knife, him threatening to kill you, he can get some serious time in prison. And by him calling you a . . . the `F' word, that's a hate crime which adds seven to ten more years."
I slumped back in my seat, not realizing exactly how deep this had suddenly become. I just wanted him to get punished, not have his life thrown away. I wanted to stand up to a bully, that's all.
Mrs. Rudd joined Chief Walker and they did a search of Martin. They came up with only some money, a paperclip and two plastic pencils; the kind with the metal tips that take the refillable lead.
We waited for forty five more minutes until Mrs. Somers arrived. When she came in the office, she asked to speak to Mrs. Rudd. After speaking with her, Mrs. Rudd asked mom to join them in her office. Ten minutes later, mom, Mrs. Somers, and Mrs. Rudd came back to the waiting area where we were sitting.
"Blake?" Mrs. Rudd called. "Could you please come with us?" she asked, holding the door open.
I did as I was instructed and followed them into a small conference room with a table and eight chairs. Mom and I sat on one side and Mrs. Somers took a seat on the other side of the table. There was an awkward silence between Ms. Somers and me. I kept my eyes down, knowing the trouble her son was in and knowing he might not be with her much longer.
A few minutes later, the door opened and in walked Martin and Mrs. Rudd.
"Mom, what're you doing here?"
Standing, she said, "I'd like to know the same thing. I get pulled out of work to come down here `cause I get a call telling me you assaulted a kid."
"I didn't do anything," he said with a scared look in his eye.
"Boy, you better sit down and shut up. Even I don't believe you."
Without another word, Martin sat next to his mom, and Mrs. Rudd took the chair at the head of the table. Looking at mom, Mrs. Rudd said, "How would you like to handle this, Mrs. Blyth."
"I think Blake should tell his story so Mrs. Somers can hear what happened."
I closed my eyes and sighed. Looking at mom, she gave me a small nod, and I started. A few times Martin tried to interrupt, but his mom gave him a look and he quickly quieted down. When I was done, I looked back at my hands in my lap.
Mrs. Somers looked at Martin and said, "Your father would be so disappointed if he were still alive. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I didn't do anything. I don't even know this kid."
"I know you're lying. I can see it in your eyes. I'm your mother, Martin. You think I can't tell when you're lying?"
"But I'm not."
Frustrated, Mrs. Somers looked at mom and asked, "How do you want to proceed, Mrs. Blyth? If you want to prosecute, you have my full blessing."
"Mom," Martin shouted in protest.
"Martin Somers, you're not getting out of it this time. I knew you hanging around your cousin was a bad idea. I told you not to, but you did it anyway. He hates gay people with a passion, and I was afraid he was going to rub off on you. I know you did it, and I'm willing to help Mrs. Blyth and Blake here as much as I can. Now, why did you do it?"
Martin sat back in his chair and I could see a tear come to the surface out of fear. He didn't say anything, and Mrs. Somers looked back at mom. "How much time are we talking?"
Getting her attorney face back on, mom answered, "With the assault, possession of a weapon with deadly intent, terroristic threats, and a hate crime, I'm guessing between fifteen and twenty five years. It depends on the judge."
I sank even lower in my chair. I wanted something much less than that, like a suspension and him knowing I wasn't going to back down because I wasn't scared of him. Not for him to go to jail for twenty five years.
"Would he be tried as an adult at seventeen?" she asked.
"Yes, ma'am," mom answered.
"Then do it. He deserves it."
"No. I'm sorry. It was a stupid prank. I didn't mean for it to go this far. I was just trying to scare him," he said, looking at his mom. Turning to me, I could see real tears drown his lower lids as he pleaded, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry."
"Why on God's earth would you do that?" his mom asked.
"I don't know," he said, crying into his hands. "I was stupid. I didn't mean to."
I looked at mom and asked to speak with her outside for a moment. When she stood, I asked Mrs. Rudd to join us. When we were outside, I looked at them and said, "I can't do this. I didn't want him to have his life thrown away. I just wanted him to know that I wasn't scared of him." Looking at mom, I asked, "Do we have to take him to court?"
"It's up to you Blake. I don't know if I can believe it was just a stupid joke, but it's not my call."
I looked at Mrs. Rudd and then down at my shoes. "I can't do it. Just let him go."
Giving a sigh, mom said, "C'mon, then. Let's tell them." She then opened the door.
I took my seat as well as mom and Mrs. Rudd. After we were settled, mom started talking.
"Blake has decided not to press charges. I don't agree with him, personally, but he doesn't want to see you throw your life away over a prank. I trust him, but I don't trust you," mom said, looking at Martin's red eyes. "How can I be sure you won't try to hurt Blake next year?"
"I won't. I promise. I was stupid, I know that. I won't do anything," he pleaded.
Mom studied him for a minute longer and said, "Fine, but if Blake tells me you're harassing him next year, I promise you that I'll prosecute you for all these things we're letting go. The statute of limitations doesn't run out on those crimes for three years. Are we understood?"
Sniffling, he said, "Yes, ma'am. I won't do anything next year. I promise." He sat back in his chair and gave a sigh of relief while wiping his eyes.
"Just because you aren't going to be prosecuted, doesn't mean you're off the hook, young man. Until you go off to college, you aren't leaving the house. You'll get a job over the summer and that will be it. No car, no phone, no computer. Nothing! No trips and not even friends."
"But mama," he started.
"Don't you `but mama' me. You'll be lucky if I don't get some handcuffs and chain you to your bed." Along with that statement, Mrs. Somers gave a look that could scare the devil himself. He said nothing else but yes ma'am.
"Mrs. Somers, I have another suggestion as well," Mrs. Rudd piped in.
"Yes, principal Rudd?"
"Since he defaced school property, for the first month after school is over, our janitorial staff will be staying behind to clean the graffiti, and repaint the lockers and walls. We could use an extra set of hands to help."
"Well, you got it. He'll be here bright and early to help the staff," looking at Martin, she asked, "Won't you?"
I could see the hatred he felt as he answered through his clinched jaw that he would.
That reminded me of something else he said earlier. I leaned over to mom and whispered in her ear.
"Mrs. Somers, Blake just informed me that your son admitted that he keyed my son's car."
Looking at Martin, she asked if it was true. Sinking in his seat, he said, "Yes, ma'am"
Turning back to mom, she asked for the damage.
"It cost just under seventeen hundred to get the car fixed and repainted."
"I wish I knew why he acted like this. Ever since his father died, he's been . . . a handful, to put it nicely." Reaching in her purse, she grabbed her checkbook and asked who it needed to be made out to. Mom gave her dad's name and she wrote out the check and handed it to her.
When mom looked at it, she said, "Mrs. Somers, this is three hundred too much."
"The extra is for your son and his troubles. Martin will pay me back the two thousand from his job over the summer."
"Mom!"
Without saying a word, she looked at him and he fell back into his chair.
Mom folded the check and slipped it in her pocket. Mrs. Rudd broke the silence and said, "Well, if we're finished here, I guess we can all be excused." She made no rush to get up, but waited for any objections to her statement.
Mrs. Somers looked at me and apologized again for what her son had done. I thanked her and looked at Martin.
"What did you do with the knife?" I asked him.
Looking down, he reached in his pocket and dropped the plastic pencil on the table. "I used this," he said, keeping his eyes away from mine.
I looked at mom and nodded my head. "Thanks, Mrs. Rudd," I said as I left. She didn't deserve it, but I felt I needed to say something to somebody.
When mom and I were outside, Mrs. Rudd followed and asked to speak with mom. They went to her office, and I headed for Todd and Kelly.
"What happened?" Todd asked.
"When mom told him he was looking at fifteen to twenty five years in prison, he cracked and admitted to everything. His mom told our mom that she gave her blessing to prosecute."
"Are you serious?" Kelly asked.
"Yeah, but I couldn't do it. I wanted him to know that I wasn't going to back down. I didn't want to see him go to jail. I dropped the charges, but mom told him that if he harassed me next year, she'll file the papers to prosecute him then."
"Why didn't you go for it?" Todd asked.
"He's only seventeen. If he got the maximum, he wouldn't get out until he was forty two years old. I didn't want that to happen for something as stupid as a prank."
"But how do you know it was a prank?" Kelly asked.
"That's what Martin said. He said it was a stupid prank and he was just trying to scare me."
"Do you believe him?" Todd asked.
"Yeah, I do. His mom is who he has to be scared of now, plus he was crying. He was really scared to go to jail. I think he was telling the truth."
Our conversation lagged, and mom came out a few minutes later.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, she apologized about the way she handled the situation, and she apologized to me for having to come down. I told her I was just being a parent and that it was you she should be apologizing to."
"What'd she do?" I asked.
"Nothing! She sat behind her desk and thanked me for coming." After a short pause, she asked, "You guys ready to go home?"
Todd and I shook our heads and Kelly said she better stay. She still had another period to go before she was done. We hugged her goodbye as she handed me my books, and Todd and I headed to the parking lot as mom walked to her car in the front lot. "I'll see you tonight, boys," she called as she walked away.
When we got in the car, Todd looked at me and said, "It may sound silly to say, but I'm proud of you."
"What for?"
"For not backing down. For standing up for yourself and telling someone, and for letting him go. Don't know if I could have done it, but I'm proud to see that you did."
"Yeah, well, you would have physically fought back, knife or no. By the way, he used a plastic pencil with the metal tip as his knife."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, well it felt like a knife."
"I can't believe how stupid some people really are." Cranking the car, I remembered the check mom had.
"Hey, by the way, he admitted to keying your car. His mom wrote a check to dad for three hundred too much. She said it was to go to you for the trouble."
"Really?" he asked with a smile.
"Yeah! Now whether dad gives it to you or not, that's a different story."
"Oh, he better. I already have plans, now that I know."
"Like what?"
"Like for your eighteenth birthday, just you and me and some hotel room in a small town where no one knows us."
For the first time since the attack, I cracked an honest smile. "That sounds like fun."
Later on in the evening, mom gave dad the check, and he wrote Todd a check for the difference. Mom also made a copy of the bill and sealed it in an envelope and asked one of us to give it to the office so they could contact Martin for him to give to his mother. I kept ice on my face for the rest of the evening, and by morning the swelling and bruising had almost disappeared.
With only one day of school left, Todd and I both went to school empty handed. We met our friends on the landing to the parking lot at the entrance to the building, and they asked questions about yesterday's experience. Since no one but Todd, Kelly and I knew who it was, I didn't give Martin's name, only to save him the embarrassment and humiliation of possibly being picked on.
Todd and Kelly both picked up on my evasiveness and didn't say his name either. Although, the kids thought the best part was when I told them what mom said to Mrs. Rudd. They all laughed and said they wish they could've been a fly on the wall for that conversation.
"Oh, it was good. It was real good," I said to them, laughing.
When the bell rang to begin the day, Todd and I shared a quick kiss and headed to different halls for our classes. Being the last day of school should've been the perfect day; saying goodbye to friends, laughing, and having fun. The first half of the day was exactly like that, and then lunch came.
The bell rang to sound the lunch period, and Kelly and I met with Howie, Todd, and the gang at our usual table. When I arrived, I asked where Jason was.
"He had to go to the gym to talk to coach for something. He'll be here in a few minutes."
"Cool," I said, digging into my pizza.
A few minutes later, someone spotted Jason coming into the cafeteria, and instead of getting lunch, he came straight over to the table. When he got closer, we could all see he was upset.
"What's wrong?" Paige asked, standing and going to him.
Sniffling, he looked at the table and said, "It's Bobby. He was killed last night in a car accident."
"What?" a few guys asked.
"Oh God," Paige exclaimed and threw her arms around Jason to comfort him.
I looked at Todd and saw his face was blank. He looked from Jason to his lap, and a few minutes later, got up without a word and headed to the senior porch.
I didn't follow him, thinking he needed some time alone, but Kelly nodded her head at me to follow, and after counting to ten, I got up and went after him. When I opened the door, I saw a few students laughing and talking with each other but couldn't see Todd. I walked down the stairs to my regular bench, and still he was no where to be found. Walking a little further, I saw him standing around the corner, alone.
I cautiously approached him and put my hand on his back. He turned to see who it was, and I saw the tears in his eyes.
"Oh, hey," he said, and turned back around, facing away from me.
"You okay?" I asked.
"I don't know."
Not knowing what else to say, all I said was, "I'm sorry."
I saw Todd lower his head and finally, let out an audible sob.
I felt so bad and the only thing I could think to do was wrap my arms around him for comfort. I put my arms over his shoulders and put my chest against his back and held him.
"I was so mad at Bobby for not accepting me, but I never wanted this to happen," he said through his tears.
"I know," I said, trying to comfort him as much as possible. "There was nothing you could've done."
Todd said nothing else; he just covered his eyes and cried. After a few minutes, I came around front and held him while he let go. I knew he was mad at Bobby since they had known each other for so long, but I knew he still held him in high regard. I couldn't imagine he would be this upset if he didn't still care. After a few more minutes and the announcement of the next period, Todd dried his eyes and we headed back to empty our trays before parting to go to our own classes.
When the final bell rang, I met the guys at the parking lot. When I came up, I could see they had all been crying at the loss of their friend. Even Howie had red eyes, and he looked like he would never shed a tear. I felt close enough to the team as friends that I gave them each a hug and told them how sorry I was and wished I had had a chance to know Bobby. Kelly did the same as she expressed her sorrow.
When we said goodbye, Todd and I headed home. The ride was quiet, and I drove to let Todd keep his mind where he needed it to be. When we got home, Todd still hadn't said anything and walked right up to his room and didn't come down until his parents got home. I never bothered him, thinking he needed his time alone.
I was sitting on the couch watching TV when mom and dad came in the door.
"Hey, Sport," dad called over, seeing me. "How was your last day?"
"Not so good," I said.
"Martin didn't give you a hard time, did he?" mom asked, ready to file the paperwork.
"No, I never saw him. But Todd got some bad news. Some very bad news."
"What was it?" dad asked, concerned.
At that moment, Todd came down and his eyes were red. When his mom saw him, she walked over and asked what was wrong?
Holding back tears, he said, "Bobby was killed last night in a car accident."
Immediately, mom dropped her briefcase and pulled him into a hug. "Honey, I'm so sorry."
Todd's tears fell once again as he held onto her.
Walking over, dad wrapped his arms around both of them and voiced the same sentiment. Pulling back and wiping his eyes, he asked if they would come with him to visit Bobby's parents. They agreed, and Todd asked if I would come too.
"I don't think I should go, Todd. The last thing they want to do now is meet someone new. I never knew Bobby, so I think it should be you three. I'll be with you at the funeral, but this time it should just be you, mom and dad."
He looked at me a little disappointedly, but said, "You're probably right." Hugging me, he said, "We'll be back in a couple hours."
I pulled away from the hug and gave a little smile to help keep his courage up. A few minutes later they left, and I returned to the couch feeling helpless. I called Kelly, and we talked for a few minutes. I felt too bummed to get too deep in conversation and she noticed. She let me go, and I went back to watching TV. Losing Bobby, even though I didn't know him, made me wonder about Mitch. I hadn't seen him in a few months and he had never called. I didn't call him because I was afraid that if my mom or dad answered, it might not be a very nice call because of what I might say, so I can't put the blame entirely on him, but still, I wondered if he was okay.
As I watched TV, I ended up dozing some and was awaken by the sound of the front door opening. I looked at the clock and noticed that two and a half hours had passed, and the three of them were returning. As Todd walked in, he had an envelope in his hands, but seemed to be in somewhat better spirits.
Walking over to him, I asked, "How'd things go?"
Giving a small smile, he said, "Really good. There were a lot of his friends there and we were talking about Bobby, and then we started talking about some of the trouble he used to get into and some of the jokes he would play on us, and before long, every one was laughing, even his mom and dad. It wasn't the sorrowful, sad time I was expecting."
"That's great," I told him. Looking down, I saw the envelope again and asked what it was.
"I don't know. His mom handed it to me and said she found it in his things earlier today with my name on it."
"You haven't read it yet?" I asked.
"No. I really don't know if I want to. I'm afraid of what it might say."
I gave him a look of understanding, but knew his curiosity would get the better of him eventually, so I let it drop.
"You guys want to go out to dinner to celebrate no more school?" dad asked.
"Nah, just a bowl of cereal would be fine with me," Todd said. "Don't feel much like celebrating."
I gave a small shake of my head to agree with Todd, and mom suggested we have breakfast for dinner. She would make pancakes, eggs, bacon, grits, toast, and all the other fixings to go with it. Todd said it sounded good and excused himself to his room. I watched him disappear upstairs and was about to follow, but decided more alone time was probably what he was looking for.
I went in the kitchen and decided to help mom with whatever she needed. She gave me the tasks of cooking the grits and beating the eggs. She made the pancakes and cooked the bacon, and when it was time to cook the eggs, she asked me to go get Todd for dinner. When I went upstairs, I saw him lying on the bed. I walked over and noticed the envelope, still unopened, on the bed near his hands.
"Dinner's ready," I told him.
"Thanks," he said, but didn't move. "I'll be down in a minute."
I put my hand on his arm and said okay then headed back down to the kitchen.
A few minutes later, Todd showed up, and we talked, even laughed, at the stories Todd told about Bobby's and his antics. The trouble they got into on and off the field and the practical jokes Bobby would play on everyone but Todd.
When Todd showed signs of slipping back into a sad memory, mom or dad would ask a question to get him talking about another subject. They knew they couldn't take his mind off what had happened but they were trying to ease his mind away and for the moment to think of other things.
When dinner was done, Todd excused himself and went back to his room. As I watched him turn the corner to the steps, dad looked at me and nodded his head for me to follow him.
"I'll help mom clean up. Go on."
"Thanks. We'll see you guys in the morning," I said and followed him to the room.
When I got there, Todd was, again, in the same position I had found him in earlier, staring at the envelope. I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and put my hand on his arm. His right hand came up and covered mine. "I wish there was something I could do for you," I said to him.
"I know. There isn't, though. I'm just remembering the good times we used to have when he still liked me."
"Puppy, do you think that... maybe that's an apology letter about how he acted?"
"I don't know. It could be that, or it could be a big `fuck you' to me. I'm too afraid to open it for fear it's the latter."
I looked down at my pants, and I felt Todd move his hand off mine. A second later, he turned towards me and said, "You read it."
"What?" I asked, looking up.
"You read it first. No, better yet, read it out loud for both of us."
"You think that's a good idea?"
"I don't know, but I'm too scared to read it alone, so you do it."
I gave a sigh and opened the letter. "Out loud?"
"Yeah," he answered and sat with his back up against the headboard.
I flipped through the many pages and then looked at the letter and noticed there were many dates, staring with April 3, 2009. "It was started two days after you came out. It's almost like a journal or something."
April 3, 2009
Dear Todd,
After what I said to you the other day, I don't even know if you've noticed I've been out. As of right now, I am sitting in my room in the mental hospital. The loony bin, as some say. Yesterday, I tried to kill myself. I don't know if you even care, but I figured I should at least tell you why I wrote this from here. After you told me you were gay, I felt guilty. For some reason, the guilt got to me more than anything else I've felt before. I told mom I was sick on Tuesday, and getting away with it, I moped around the house until around lunch. I got in my car, pulled in the garage, and closed the door, but never turned off the engine. I lowered the windows and got so bored, I fell asleep. Next thing I know, I was in the hospital. Mom came home for lunch to check on me. Something I obviously didn't expect. I gotta go for now. The therapist is waiting for me for our next session.
April 5, 2009
Dear Todd,
Therapy went okay the last couple days. The doc keeps trying to pull the reason for my attempted suicide out of me, but I'm not ready to give it up. He says he won't let me out until I do, and mom and dad have given them permission to keep me until my problems have been solved, or at least, until they can find out why. I guess I'm just too chicken to admit it yet.
April 9, 2009
Dear Todd,
Since I met you in fifth grade, even though I'm a couple months older, I've always looked up to you. You've always had the confidence I wish I had. You were always the happy-go-lucky guy I always wanted to be. I guess after middle school I started to become that guy, but I always felt like it wasn't good enough. We spent a lot of good times together. Hangin' out with the team, just you and me on joy rides. Those were the best times of my life, but I always knew I was one step behind you in everything. You were, and still are, the best looking, most popular, team captain, the guy everyone could come to if they had a problem, and most of all, could have any girl you wanted. I could never be that way, and if it wasn't for us being friends, I probably never would've ended up in that world.
April 13, 2009
Todd,
Still here in the white walled place where they keep the crazies. It's kinda funny but sad at the same time. I see some of these people and wonder what they were like before they snapped. A few of `em are real nice, and a few of them won't say a word. Some think that someone's after them, even the government. I say that's snapped, but then, they had to get that idea somewhere, right? Well, I know why I'm here, and all I have to do is say it and I'm free to leave, but I won't tell anyone. I still haven't said it to myself, so I'm not ready to voice it yet.
April 18, 2009
I can't stand
it here much longer. The doc actually
yelled at me and I couldn't help but cry.
I'm such a baby. This fucking
sucks.
April 22, 2009
Todd,
Sorry about that last entry, I guess I was a little over dramatic. The pressure of being here got to me a little, I think. Plus having a guy down the hall who's constantly making noises, mouth, hands, feet, body, doesn't matter. If it can make a noise, he makes it. Drives me fucking crazy. The only way I can get some sleep is to wait for two hours until his meds kick in and knock him out. I pray for ten o'clock every night, just to have some peace.
April 23, 2009
I looked back over what I've written so far and realized I never told you how I one uped you. (Is that how you spell uped? You know I was never was good at spelling). Anyway, I said you could have any girl you ever wanted, but I always knew you were a virgin. I knew if you had sacked a girl, you would've told me. Well, now I wonder since you're gay if you really were a virgin, but kept it a secret. Oh well, this is my story of how I one uped you on that aspect. It was over the summer of our sophomore/junior year. I found this girl at the mall, and we kinda hit it off, so we started dating. I met the family, and she met mine, and we just worked together. Anyway, a couple weeks before school started, we finally did it. I was nervous as hell, and I was afraid I couldn't get it up because it wasn't the person I fell in love with. I tried to focus everything on the girl in front of me, but the only face I kept seeing was yours.
"What?" Todd asked, interrupting me.
"That's what it says. He said he was afraid he couldn't get it up because it wasn't the first person he fell in love with, and while he did, it was your face he was seeing."
"He fell in love with me?"
"I know as much as you. I don't know."
"Keep reading."
Yeah, you read that correctly. You were the first person I fell in love with, and I couldn't figure out why for the longest time. Was it a brotherly love or something more? After sleeping with her, I realized it was something more I wanted. The sex with her was good. I kept it up fine, and things came out okay, pun intended. Lol, but it wasn't as satisfying as I had hoped. Also, I hoped that if I slept with her, I could get my mind off you. When I saw you again the next day when we went to the movies, I realized it didn't work. I think you could call me either bi or questioning. I've only been with the one girl and never with a guy. I fantasized about you being my first, but then at the time, you were straight. Gotta go, lunch. Back shortly.
Ok, back. Anyway, I guess I'm trying to tell you why I was an ass when you came out. I used the word fag to cover any possible trace of who I was and felt on the inside. I figured if I was the macho straight guy who showed he didn't like gay people, they would know I was straight, and I didn't have to try and hide anything. At least not to the world. I was always hiding to myself, and I hated it. So after you told us, at first I thought it was a joke, being April fools and all, but when you kissed that guy I knew it wasn't a joke, and more than anything, I was crushed. As I walked away, I cried because you weren't mine. If I knew there was a remote chance of anything between us, or that you were gay, I would've told you about my feelings, but I was afraid because I thought you might hate me. After I found out the guys name was Blake, I knew he was the luckiest person alive. Seeing you kiss him was like someone had ripped out my heart and stomped on it. I wanted it to be me you kissed. I'm sorry for the way I treated you and Blake, and I'm sorry for calling you both fags. I wish I could take it back, but I know that the only thing I can hope for is your forgiveness. I'm going to tell the doc today, and hopefully I'll be home tomorrow. I just gotta get outta here before I really do end up like the others.
April 28, 2009
I got home the next day, and I told mom and dad. I realized I was ashamed of who I was, and about telling anyone, and figured if I killed myself then I wouldn't have to go through the disappointment of anyone rejecting me. I still wish I could tell you, but I know if I did nothing could be done about it. You seem real happy with Blake, and I don't want to hurt that relationship in any way.
May 8, 2009
I've decided to
go and live with my grandparents for the summer in
Robert Collins
"That's everything," I said, looking at Todd.
"I can't believe this. He loved me and never said anything," Todd said, looking at his fingers. "Why didn't I see it?"
"Because he was afraid to show you."
"But still. We were best friends for twelve years. Why didn't he tell me?" The last question was rhetorical. He lowered his head farther and sniffled. A minute later, his tears hit his chest.
Getting off the bed, I grabbed his hand and said, "C'mon. Get up and let me get the covers down." Wiping his eyes, he followed my lead, and I pulled the covers down for us to crawl in. "Take off your clothes, baby." I stripped down, and Todd did the same. When we were in our underwear, I motioned for him to crawl in first, and then I followed.
He turned towards me, but I told him to turn over. He was emotionally too far gone to care at the moment and just followed my orders. When he was facing away, I pulled the covers up and wrapped my arms around him with my chest pressed tightly against his back. A few minutes later, I heard him crying over his friend. I hugged him tighter and held him like he had me so many nights before. Eventually, he cried himself to sleep.
The funeral was held on Friday, and Todd, mom and dad, as well as I, went to pay our last respects. During the service, Todd held my hand. He was crying as well as the other guys from the team and Bobby's other friends. After the graveside service was over, Bobby's parents and sister had moved off to the side to thank the people for coming.
As the people left to talk with Mr. and Mrs. Collins and their daughter, I followed but looked back and saw that Todd had stepped closer to the coffin. I stared at him for a minute but then left him alone to grieve. I couldn't imagine losing Kelly at all; much less if we had fought the last time we saw each other. I had no idea what he was going through, and I prayed that I'd never have that experience. The only thing worse than losing Kelly, would be to lose Todd. That's not something I even want to think about.
Later on that day, Todd and I were just sitting in our room, and he told me that he told Bobby he loved him too. I looked over to face him, and still looking at the floor, he repeated it.
"While I was standing at his coffin after everyone else had left, I told him I loved him. He was like my brother. I know from his letter he loved me in a different way, but still, I loved him." He paused for a few minutes and finally said, "I just can't believe he's gone." Another second was all he could do to keep his composure. He fell on the bed and cried. I could see the pain he was going through and wished there was something I could do. Seeing him in pain hurt me, and after a few moments, I felt tears flow down my own cheeks in response to his hurt.
On Saturday, we went to see Pax, as usual, and he seemed to cheer Todd up some. After tiptoeing around Todd a little and sensing what he might be going through, his big brother side came out to comfort Todd. Soon his comedian side came out and he had him laughing. By the time we made it home, Todd's spirits seemed to have been lifted, which I was glad to see.
Monday came, and Todd woke me very early.
"C'mon, time to get up?"
"What?" I asked, groggily, looking at the clock. "Oh my God, it's five am."
"Yeah, we're starting our workout. C'mon," he said in a more chipper mood than as of late.
"I can't," I said, throwing the covers back over my head.
"Oh no you don't," he said, pulling the covers off me completely. "I told you this wasn't going to be easy, now get your cute little ass out of that bed."
I turned over and covered my eyes from the light and looked out from under my arm at him. "You're an evil man."
Smiling, he asked, "Why's that?"
"You could've warned me we were starting today, and I could've gone to bed earlier."
"Nah, what fun would that have been?"
"Harrumph," I said, turning over away from him.
Next thing I knew, I felt his fingers slowly invade my butt crack, and I moved quickly to get him away from me. It didn't work; he only followed my ass where ever I moved it.
"Stop," I said, laughing.
"Get up," he said.
"No. I'm tired."
He left my ass alone and grabbed my limp dick in his hands and gave a tug.
"Now that might do the trick on getting me up," I said as I looked through my squinted eyes.
"That's not the idea I had in mind. See, in about three seconds, I'm gonna pull you off this bed by your dick. I don't imagine it's gonna feel good. One..."
"No, I'm up, I'm up," I said, sitting up as fast as I could.
"Knew that would do the trick," he said smiling. Walking across the room, he grabbed some sweat pants and threw them at me.
I had my eyes closed and they hit me in the face. "Ass," I said as I stood.
"Put `em on and meet me downstairs." A second later, he was out the door.
I stepped into the sweats and grabbed some socks and a shirt and put them on. Within two minutes, I was downstairs looking for him. He was in the kitchen using the blender for something. I walked up behind him and looked over his shoulder.
"Uhhh, what is that?" I asked, seeing a green liquid in the blender.
"It's a wheatgrass cocktail. It's got wheatgrass, carrots, agave nectar, spinach, and OJ. Oh, and banana."
"What the hell is agave nectar?"
"It's a syrup that comes from a plant in
"And spinach?"
"Vitamins and minerals."
"Okay, carrots and OJ, I know, but what the hell is wheatgrass?"
"Wheatgrass is very young grass that's full of so many things that are good for the body. It helps to get rid of toxins, it purifies the blood, lowers blood pressure, and it helps overcome aging, and gives energy to the sex hormones."
"What does that mean? Will it make me hornier?" I asked, intrigued.
"Don't know, but I sure hope so. Maybe one day, we'll be able to go all day without having to take a break," he said, turning and wrapping his arms around me.
"A break? I could go all day; it's you who gets worn out. I guess your age is showing."
"You better watch it. I only take a break `cause I do all the work," he said in mock defense.
"Bullshit. Remember when I took the upper hand and told you what to do and finally did it myself?"
"Hell yeah! That was hot."
"See, I did it too. All you had to do was lay there and watch your dick disappear."
"We need to do that more often. It's sexy when you're aggressive."
"Well, I was horny and needed it hard. You weren't doing it so I had to."
Closing the space between us, he kissed me then turned around and finished up the cocktail.
"I don't care how good it is, it still looks gross."
"It's not that tasty, but with the OJ and the agave nectar, it's bearable."
"When do we drink it?"
"After our run. I'm gonna make it and put it in the fridge. It tastes better, to me anyway, when it's cold."
He turned off the blender and put the concoction in the fridge and pulled me out the door. Out on the grass, he started stretching and told me to mimic him to warm up my muscles. I did as he did and tried to do it as well as he did, but the muscles on me weren't in nearly as good a shape as they were on him. After about fifteen or twenty minutes, he looked at me and asked if I was ready.
"Do I have a choice?" I asked, looking at him.
"Yeah, you can stay here, but you know I'll give you a hard time if you do," he said smiling at me.
"C'mon. Lead the way, but remember I don't run so I'll probably be out of breath real soon."
"If you need a break, let me know and we'll walk. We gotta keep moving to keep the heart rate up, so we can't stop completely."
"That's fine. Let's go."
Todd started jogging in place and I followed his action. A moment later, he started to propel himself forward, and I followed. I found out that he had a set path he ran ever morning and we followed it like he always had. That first day, I had to call a break about five times. I think he got annoyed with me, but he never showed it. He was patient with me, and I loved him all the more for it.
When we got back home, I collapsed on the grass, and he saw me and said, "No, we're not done. Get up."
"Oh, my God! Are you torturing me?"
"Not purposely," he said, still jogging in place.
"What's left?" I asked, breathing hard.
"Gotta walk to cool down. Come on, it's almost over."
He reached down, and I grabbed his hand, and he pulled me up. After I was standing, he stopped his jogging, and we started walking. Two trips around the block then it was back to the house. When we came in, mom and dad were in the kitchen eating some breakfast.
"Where have you two been?" mom asked, spooning some cereal in her mouth.
"Just got done running," Todd said. "Got the kid involved with me this year."
"Hey, you better watch your mouth. I'm no kid," I said playfully.
"That's great. Now you won't beg me to come with you," dad said.
"I just wanted a partner to run with."
"I know, but I wanted my sleep," dad said, giving a big, fake smile to Todd.
Looking at the clock, Todd asked, "Aren't you supposed to be gone by now. It's almost seven."
"I gotta doctor's appointment today. It's just a regular checkup, no biggie."
Walking to the cabinet, Todd grabbed two glasses and opened the fridge for the green glop. "I hope everything goes well," he said, pouring the gloppy stuff in the cups.
"You and me both," he said. "So, what do you guys have planned for the day?"
"I've got work. Mr. Avery told me I could come back to the Discovery store today. I gotta be there by nine."
Looking at me, I said, "And I guess I gotta look for a job."
"There's no rush. You have all summer. Hell the only reason you even need a job is extra money. I mean, we can give you an allowance for doing chores around the house, but it won't be a lot."
"I know, and I